reuploaded sum stuff i havent been active for nearly a year and i havent posted much for two years. idk man things are just never going to be the same. i remember drawing and coding and feel proud of my creations and cringing on my old mistakes and learning through them, but now i just hate my art. ive been obsessed with improvement and what other people think. thing is, ive realised, hey, if i post this, people will hate it. if i post this instead, however, there will be many people that wouldve preferred me to make the other. people are going to criticise my art. some people arent going to like it. and being a kid prone to social anxiety, this thought kinda crushed me. yk “i prefer her old art” and allat. but ive come to a realisation that, actually, existing makes people hate me. making the art i make makes people hate me. that sucks, but its unavoidable. these people are irrelevant to your life. you are likely never going to interact with them again. is it rlly worth beating yourself up for one comment? people love you. people love your art. and youre throwing that down the drain because you care about the vast minorities feelings to much. what is going to happen is going to happen, and what happened in the past cant change. its not like i can just wipe out all those painful years of self-doubting out of existence. but i can change now. i can teach myself how to love my art. it wont be easy, of course it wont, and accepting that hurts so much, but i just have to let it go. i believe i can do it, and i believe, if you ever get stuck like i was, you can do it, too. no one will read this. ive accepted that. no need to comment “oH I AiNt ReAdInG AlLaT”. i know. i just had to get this off my chest. keep aiming for your goal, and someday, you can achieve it. i believe in you and i really hope you do too. happy 2024!
