An evil kumquat looks just like a regular kumquat until provoked. The angered evil kumquat will then proceed to devour your signature. Since there is no way to know if a kumquat is evil until it's too late, the best thing to do when meeting a kumquat is to stay away! Little known fact: kumquats are fruits, so shouting "knife" may work as a last resort.
Common misconceptions about kumquats: 1. Kumquats are all evil! No, not all kumquats are evil; some are good, some are just hungry. 2. My signature is fine; I have kumquat B-Gone! Kids, don't trust infomercials. They're fueled by corporate lies.
