Silena: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why. Connor: Only if you also don't ask why Connor: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick. Silena: Connor: Silena: This one is fine Clarisse: I'm a reverse necromancer. Annabeth: Isn't that just k/lling people? Clarisse: Ah, technicality. Connor: Must be hard not being able to laugh Annabeth: I do have a sense of humor you know Connor: I’ve never heard you laugh before Annabeth: I’ve never heard you say anything funny Beckendorf: *Gets down on one knee* Clarisse: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. Beckendorf: *Falls over* Clarisse: The poison is kicking in. Clarisse: This is bothering me. Silena: Well, you are digging up a corpse. Clarisse: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually. Beckendorf: I'm incredibly fast at math. Silena: Alright, what's 30x17? Beckendorf: 47 Silena: That's not even close. Beckendorf: But it was fast. Annabeth: It's very unhealthy to bottle up all your negative feelings. Silena: I know. That's why I bottle up the positive ones too. Annabeth: Silena: So they cancel out. Annabeth: Beckendorf: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Clarisse: *turning to Percy* How tall are you? Beckendorf: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Annabeth: K/lled without hesitation. Beckendorf: No. Clarisse: I prevented a mvrder today. Annabeth: Really? How’d you do that? Clarisse: self control. Clarisse: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Percy: It’s not a joke. Percy: *sniffles* Percy: I’m a legit snack. Chris: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives Clarisse: I wake up at 4:30 AM Chris: Chris: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives (I'm randomly generating them--- squealed) Percy: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen! Annabeth: Really? Name one law Percy: Don't kill people? Annabeth: That's on me. I set the bar too low. Connor: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place. Clarisse: You people already know too much about me. Annabeth: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place. Clarisse: Why is Annabeth so sad? Percy: She took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes Clarisse: And...? Percy: She got Connor. Annabeth: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Chris: You're like 15 years old Annabeth: I MIGHT DIE AT 30! Annabeth: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Percy: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Clarisse: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Beckendorf: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Annabeth: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands. Clarisse: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Percy's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out... Annabeth: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Chris: Wasn't Clarisse with you? Clarisse: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised. Annabeth: This is a mistake Percy, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day! Annabeth: But not today Percy, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess Percy: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Chris: I'm a kn/fe. Clarisse, from across the room: He's the little spoon. Chris: So what’s for dinner? Clarisse, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret. Clarisse: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Annabeth: It means I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Clarisse: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Annabeth: Clarisse, they...they weren’t always orphans. Clarisse: Clarisse: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them. Chris: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up. Silena: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Silena: i became more evil if you’re curious Beckendorf: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Silena: i’m going to get worse on purpose Clarisse, driving Chris and Beckendorf: So how was your day? Chris: We almost got surprise adopted! Clarisse: What? Beckendorf: We almost got k/dn4pped. Clarisse: Oh, okay. Clarisse: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?! Clarisse: Gods, give me patience. Percy: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Clarisse: If the Gods gave me strength, you'd be de4d. Annabeth: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Percy: You mean literally or figuratively? Annabeth: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
Chris: HELP! I TOLD CLARISSE I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Travis, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help? Chris, pointing: May I sit there? Clarisse: That's my lap Chris: That doesn't answer my question, Clarisse. Clarisse: Can you please be serious for five minutes? Chris: My record is four, but I think I can do it. Annabeth: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes. Percy: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BL00D. Annabeth: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time? Annabeth: It’s dark in here Silena: Don’t worry dude I got this Silena: *Stomps her feet* Silena: *Skechers light up* Beckendorf: Why are Annabeth and Percy sitting with their backs to each other? Clarisse: They had a fight. Beckendorf: Then why are they holding hands? Clarisse: They get sad when they fight. Store Worker: Would a Mr. Chris please come to the front desk? Chris, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Beckendorf and Clarisse Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Beckendorf and Clarisse, simultaneously: We got lost :( Chris: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me- Silena: I made tea. Chris: I don’t want tea. Silena: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Chris: Then why are you telling me? Silena: It is a conversation starter. Chris: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Silena: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate. Chris: I was thinking I'd do some magic- Clarisse: You? Magic? Chris, it says talent show. Clarisse, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Chris: You did WHAT– Silena: William Snakepeare
