hi!! ive been doing better recently there's actually a lot more to why i left so i'll try to say as much as i can this time.. my last explanation was kind of dry and im sorry about that :( so.... the main reason im leaving/i left is because i want to be myself without the fear of being judged ive been on scratch for about 4 years now and ive met a lot of people on here i dont know why i ever bothered trying to be someone else in the first place was i trying to fit in? i dont know but because of that ive had to stay with that personality for a long time its too late to actually be myself now on here because some people may be like "ew what happened to you" and crap and if they say "youre not being yourself" how am i supposed to tell them that i wasnt before? theyd think im some filthy liar maybe i am ehhhehehheh idk why i worry what others think liieiiekekekkekeke IF I CALL MYSELF *silly* someone would probably call it uhhh cringey??? lmao and if i use a typing quirk like i kind of do now and its impossible to stop using somehow, idk im just scared sooooo yeah another thing is that im a known member of this group called "qwerty" which is a TERRIBLE memory and i hate to think about it its some uh sonic thingy controlled by someone we'll just call storm, which broke up kind of like 6 months ago i think. there was too much drama in that group and it was kind of.. well, almost all the members were dating which i found weird because none of them knew irl, i mean i get online dating but you dont need to force everyone else to do it. i was kind of tricked into thinking i liked someone from there because of that, but i never did. i wasnt careful enough.. im mostly known from that friend group and i get comments that i need to delete saying "OMG ARE YOU EMI FROM QWERTY?" like im not even a part of that stupid group anymore, and i dont even use the freaking name emi anymore (i never liked it it was kind of forced on me ig you could say) i never wanted to be known for that kind of thing, and besides i never really liked sonic it was just a phase okay something else now funny thing called gender and pronouns so i used to be GRILLY GRILL FEMALE SHE HER STRAIGHT CHRISTIAN!!! yeah yeah that crap, and most of you knew me from when i was like that so you ahahah use she/her on me and yeah but i kind of made it clear i dont use those pronouns anymore. but its kind of like "oh idc im more comfty using this and this on you" and pretend im fine with that. im not. i love how i dont get respect nd i sound selfish when i ask for some so yay if you're uncomfortable with things i change about myself well heck you, we dont need to be friends i dont mean being concerned for me because im changing? you need to ask if im being forced to do something, dont assume like some of you were. okay now somethign i mentioned a LOT one of my former classmates and their current classmates were spreading rumors that im a therian and blah blah thats old news but i was going to leave originally because of that, and they were stalking me too and yeah i havent heard of them since like last month so yeah, old news not really why im leaving anymore but taht honestly really hurt me :/ So i've had like 6 people find my new account on "accident". and like ive said leave me alone, dni, i dont want to be friends STOP TRYING TO FIND ME a million times but no one caresssss hahaha one of them rlly went on my profile like "HELLO DAWGB0NE-" I WANTED TO LITERALLY k/MS AT THAT MOMENT ISTG i think that may have triggered it in a way ive had so many people ask me to send them the account privately NO MEANS NO.. i dont care if youre my BeSt fRiEnD!!! NO, im NOT bipolar.. and i dont have any mental disorders. i was probably misdiagnosed or something. thanks for your assumptions (at a few specific people) heres what else i gave up on!! yay!! - art - happiness - self care - most of my friends hate me if youd like, idk anymore listen, i dont want to use mENTal PRObLEmsS 1!1 as an excuse but im actually going through stuff and i *dont* want to use this account anymroe and if i dont want to talk it would be nice if you respected that so you dont cause more problems -- other than that, ive been getting a lot better mentally ill never come back but i may leave some updates bye ive been trying SO HARD to quit scratch, since 2021, but i think now i actually literally dislike it enough to kind of get rid of the addiction
update for the update: i wrote most of this in anger.. i dont mean to sound harsh, hateful, or disrespectful towards anyone. i would delete most of this to prevent hate.. but i genuinely want to get all this off my chest, im so tired of hiding my emotions all the time.. so ill just turn the comments off.
