My bed sheets are to sticky. Sticky, like the red sickly substance that had covered my hands that day. I gather myself before I could dive into that endless void again, well knowing if I did that, I'd go crazy. No like I wasn't already. I clamber out of bed, falling to the fluffy black carpet with a grunt, twisted in my silk black sheets. After a bit of struggling, I get up, free from the silky chains. I head to my closet and grab my usual; a black crop top, black ripped jeans, a black leather jacket, fingerless gloves, and a black belt. I stumble into the bathroom and look at my reflection. It mocks me. It has the same dark brown eyes, the same black hair in a messy wolf cut, the same bags under its eyes. It copies the think eyeliner I put on, and mimics the dark eyeshadow I shade my eyes with. It moves with me, pretends to be me. I turn away. Nobody should have to look at me for that long. I'm nothing without Ash. I take another glance around my dark bedroom, taking in the black decor and black posters. I have flashbacks. Flashbacks of when we hung out. Read, laughed, talked, in this very place. I turn and open the door, rushing through it as fast as possible. I slam it behind me, wincing as I prepare to hear my mother's sharp complaint. "Valerie Sade! What have I told you about-" I turn the curve of the stairs and she cuts off, eyes softening. "Val, you need to stop dressing like that. It's not healthy." I shrug, numb from any feeling. "It's not like anyone cares," I mumble, brushing past her. My eyes catch the clock, noting there's two minutes until I have to leave. I turn to my sister, not having enough energy to say hello. So I just wave. She waves back, giving me a sad smile. She starts to open her mouth, presumably to ask what I'm doing today. "Bye mom. Bye Kal," I mutter, grabbing my keys and hurtling out the front door. I get into my car and breathe, tears watering in my eyes. No. I can't cry. I need to get to school. I start up the engine and sigh with relief as it turns on. I back out of the driveway, slowly but surely. And then I feel the car collide with something.
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