He was tired..oh so tired. Every part of his small body ached, burning as he finally laid himself down in his soft, green nest. The familiar den surrounding him as he wheezed and settled into his nest. Bobblewaddle, the handsome chocolate tabby tomcat with his sparkling lemon yellow eyes and beautiful flowers, was starting to struggle with his breathing. He knew something was coming but he didn’t know what it was. His stomach was turning and his voice felt gruff, but his music was still as angelic as ever. The tomcat had a feeling he knew what was coming, and he knew what he had to do. He turned his head left and right, searching for his oldest daughter. He never picked favorites..but this time he did. His special little she-cat, she was his precious little perfect daughter. Nothing she did could make him feel bad, he didn’t care what it was. He knew he had been such an awful father to her and he needed to apologize again. He stood up with a huff and wobbled over to Turtleflop’s trinket covered nest. He didn’t want anything to happen to her, ever. He hated how much she went through, he hated it! Losing her Mama so young, having a father who practically abandoned her..and that was just the surface of the family problems! He didn’t know about what happened between her friends! The way that she never made up with Frosttwirl before she died, the way Milkysplash just..left. He himself wasn’t even sure if Milkysplash was dead or alive. For all he knew, she could be sitting by an oasis, purring as she lapped up water, flowers blowing past her beautiful folded oreo ears. When he came back to his senses he realized he had cuddled next to Turtleflop, his tail wrapped around her and his head in her paws. This was his daughter and she was the best thing that ever happened to him. He had said some awful things to her but he wished he hadn’t said any of that. HE WISHED HE HADN’T SAID ANY OF IT! What stupid cat would tell his own daughter that he hated her?! That he wished she hadn’t been born? That he would have been happier without her…No. All of that was wrong. Neither him or Turtleflop had said a single word and he was already regretting everything he had done. That was it..that was the last thing the sensitive tom needed. Bobblewaddle just let it go, tears streaming from his eyes as he sobbed, burying his graying muzzle into his daughter’s soft paws. He couldn’t believe he was doing this..but he had to do it at least once. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He heard his daughter’s soft gasp when she heard him breaking down. Just seconds ago she was purring and now his ears picked up the sound of her soft breathing, sounding as if she was also about to break into tears. He still hadn’t said a single word to her since he cuddled into her fluffy tail. She had his tail. That was what she got from him. The cursed reminder that she was his daughter. Some of his patterns translating into her own creative spots. She got his fur. Her mother’s color, his too, but his fur. He was proud to have passed on his luscious fluffy fur. It was his gift to her, like wrapping her in his paws forever and ever. Finally, he thought it was time to speak. He had been crying and holding her for far too long now. He didn’t even know what he was going to say. Say something, anything. Anything anything anything anything. His mind screamed at him to just SPEAK.“I love you..” was all he could manage. He didn’t know what else to say. But as soon as he thought nothing else was to be said, he opened his mouth to speak again. He spoke softly, his voice cracked from his crying. “I love you, Turtleflop. I think that you’re the best thing that ever could happen to me. You’re perfect in every way I could ever ask for. You, my dear, are something special that no one will ever take advantage of as long as I’m here to stop it,” He pushed his face into his daughter’s fur, “You, my dear, need to appreciate yourself and the way you are. You are your father’s daughter, no matter how much I wish you could be free of me and your Mama, you are our daughter and I know that Mama is proud of you because look at that face,” The tomcat turned his head to look into his daughter’s eyes, “That, my dear, is the face of a daughter to be proud of. I don’t ever want you to forgive me for what I said, ever. You can never forgive me for saying those awful, awful things, but I hope you can look past them..just for a while..just a little while. Or at least enough time for your dear father to sing you a song. Any song you want, my dear. I can sing your’s, Mama’s, or mine. Or the one about the free fish..any song. I’ll sing it.” He thought for a moment before adding, “But..after that I have to sing you a new one..okay?” Bobblewaddle knew a simple song couldn’t fix all of his awful words, but he wanted to do everything he could to maybe make those words less hurtful. [+]
He knew that he had caused her pain, he knew he wasn’t the root of all of her problems, but he also knew that he had caused some problems. A good amount of them too. He hadn’t meant to do that, he never did. He regretted running from her ceremony, yelling at her, judging her and her friends, rejecting her mate ( even if just for a little while ), and being untrustworthy..but the one thing he didn’t regret was her existence. He knew he had made her feel like he didn’t regret what he did, and regretted what he didn’t, but that was wrong. He loved her and he loved being with her. He wasn’t sure how to express it and he had very clearly done it wrong. Very, VERY clearly. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how to be a father, but it was his fault for not trying. Turtleflop looked at him and somehow she knew what was coming, and she didn’t know why she was surprised. But she took a deep breath, and she tried to be brave. Bobblewaddle had been brave for her so, so, so much. And he never realized it. Her dada had been her guiding light for so long. And now… was it time for him to go up to the stars? Was it time for his light to guide every cat who looked up at the night sky? Tears shimmered on her eyes and fell to the ground, but she was brave. She would be brave. She would, she would, she would. “Dada.” She said quietly. “Can you sing my song?” Maybe it was selfish, but she wanted to hear it one more time before she could never hear it in his voice again. She wanted to listen to his voice like it was a lullaby, singing about her, singing about love and family and youth and joy and sadness and freedom. “Anything, my dear..” He said softly. He was too tired to tap his paws as he sang, “When I was younger I didn’t expect To be a faaaather But yet here you are Here you aaarre I never wanted to see What would come of me If I were to raise you as my oooown When the words were spoken And the sounds were made And the softness of my little one Beneath my paws I’ll keep you saaaafe Once again when the Words were spoken And the sounds were made I’ll keep you safe I’ll keep yooou safe Never thought the day would come When I looked up at the sky Praying to make it in tiiiiiiiiime Sorries and sorries are never enough To make up what we lost When the words were spoken And the sounds were made And the softness of my little one Beneath my paws I’ll keep you saaaaaafe I’ll keep you safe I’ll keep you saaaafe Fall and fall and fall and what do we got One come one go and a lot of the others say that we’re wrong That we did wrong That we were wrong When the truth of the matter hit me It hit like rock My little one I’ll keep you safe I’ll keep yoooou Safe” Through the whole song his voice was quite weak but still, he sang through the whole thing, taking breaths that were just barely longer than when he first sang it. He sighed. Bobblewaddle loved singing, but not more than he loved his daughter. Now it was time for her song. The song of the life he knew. His body was shaking and his eyelids were closing on him but he held his head high and started his gentle ballad. “I’ve seen my girl grow, I’ve seen my girl I’ve seen her shining eyes from the moment she lied on the, sunny stones outside the camp the beautiful trees sparking in her eyes that she shares with me. I’ve seen my girl grow, I’ve seen her go high I’ve seen her fur blow as I threw her up to the blue sky I’ve seen her fall down I’ve watched her cry I need her to know that she is mine. Not mine to command but mine to love mine to see mine to breathe mine to love. Oh my dear, beautiful, bright eyes and flowers I, see you passing by the hours I see you I, I see you My gorgeous girl, my beautiful, oh my sweet I’ve seen you grow as you, splash in the creek. I’m so sorry for, all I’ve done for all I’ve said and for all my silly jokes you don’t get I, don’t want to see you live in regret Look in my eyes dear, look inside I see that you are mine, oh, mine Look at you watching, as I ran like a silly little, coward of a man I’ve never seen someone as brave as you..oh my dear…I watch you..push through Look at your shining eyes, as I watch you grow.. I see you ready to steal the show I see I see you ready to, come and go I can’t believe how much you have grown or how much you know or how you are home don’t you go, makin’ me cry don’t you, change my mind, oh no you can’t change my mind I hear you. I see you.. I watch you and I am proud..I watch you…and I’m proud The caramel fur of, my little one no not my little one but..yours [+] [ PART 2: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/983461131/ ]
