!! tw for possibly disturbing content !! chap. two- windowless She had always said the mind was windowless yet the eye’s doors were wide open. It had taken me more years than I can count to figure out what that means, to figure out that every time she said that, she was trying to say that the mind was hidden, deep, but looking not someone’s eyes could show you their whole perspective. I used that knowledge later on in life, used it when I interacted with people. I was surprised to find it quite useful, and being perfectly honest, true. The number of people whose minds are shut off yet have eyes more open than her back the night it happened is really quite shocking. Every now and then I’ll look back on when she was beside me and I’ll think about her name. Her name was common, usual, but had more meaning to me than any strange saying. Each time I hear it now I get a shiver run down my spine throughout me. It’s hard not to think about her, even though I try. I try very much not to. I know she wouldn’t want me to forget about her. But sometimes I think it might make everything easier. I already remember too much. I remember how it happened, the exact date, time, location. I remember how her expression changed so quickly. It was the first time I had seen an emotion expressed like that, at least on her. I remember how the most unsettling thing of all were that no screams escaped her mouth. She simply fell. And even now, I wait for her to get back up. I can’t help but feel immense guilt for not remembering her face. Her eyes, I believe they were brown. Or green. Or blue. They could be any color, really. I can’t remember. It’s quite heartbreaking that we don’t have any pictures of her. Mother took them all when she left. And Mother isn’t particularly fond of me. Mother has always been one thing I would like to forget. But I doubt I will ever forget the look on her face when it happened. The look she gave me that proved how much of an utter disgrace I was. So, on behalf of Mother, on behalf of her, I must say, I am sorry for taking your life away, Bea. Sister.
- chapter two is finally out, took a little longer than expected so my apologies - cover found on pin first: next: n/a previous:
