!! TW !! Mentions of murder Slight cursing Ya. Erm. Chapter one: Insecurities. Like everyone, I have insecurities, some of which are quite relateable in some way. My body. This one’s probably common in most people with my body shape/form, but I’m terribly insecure about it. To simplify it, I’m not skinny. Basically, I’m- well, I can’t think of another word for it but you know anyways (I think). What I’m saying is I don’t have a perfect body. Now, nobody does, but mine is a bit- weird. I have broad shoulders, but a somewhat little head, and the rest of my body is just- wide or smth. I weigh a lot, too- like- not 200 but 160-180. Yeah, that actually sucks for me. Whenever I’m out in public I kinda legitimately suck it up and stand up straight and that really hurts because I’m like holding my breath- yeah. (Might add more!) Talking. Sometimes I fear I’m being too loud, other times too quiet, and all times that nobody’s actually paying attention to me. Like, I’ll talk about something I like and the person I’m talking to won’t take any note of it, but when they talk about stuff they like, I remember it all. I try to make them happy and talk about stuff they like, that way I make more friends, y’know? (Might add more!) Chapter two: My own mental health vs. others. You know how there’s that one person that’s the comfort guy? That’s me. I honestly love to comfort people, because when they’re happy, I feel like I’ve done something right in my life. But they never end up doing it back. I’ll look sad, or be sick, or maybe even cry in front of a “friend” and they’ll pay no mind to it. (This may trail back to chapter one). One time, I was crying because I was upset abt smth (don’t remember what) and (name classified) said that I looked ugly crying. Literally didn’t even ask if I was ok, just straight up came up to me and told me that. I was always nice to her, and whenever she needed something, I’d get it for her, or at least try to. Or whenever she was upset, I’d try my best to comfort her and THAT’S my thanks. Wow. Sometimes I wanted her to die, but those were just… thoughts. (Might add more!) Chapter three: Gruesome thoughts. If I’ve never really mentioned my intent on murder, here you go. I have huge mental health problems, dude. Sometimes I’ll joke about killing or murder on some specific person, and they’ll take it seriously. And that person might have said to me one time; LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE. Like, bro, shut the actual hell up rn. [content deleted]
