i don’t believe i’ve known pain until i read one long paragraph. a few small texts. and i can’t process how fast i broke down. didn’t think about who was around me, didn’t consider that people sleep this late at night. i sobbed and sang along to the music i was listening to. these star forsaken words were so painful to read and im out of place now. they never meant to but i was so wrong and i assumed and i can’t look back at my actions without wanting to shatter the mirror i can see my eyes in. those tear filled eyes. those pathetic green eyes that always got compliments even though they were only green on some days. pull out that hair that got those undeserving conplements for being so fluffy even though it’s only lasts an hour. the concern on the cut by my eyebrow that people say will make a cool scar but i’m not happy with how i fell to got it. i don’t deserve all of that extra stuff. i failed you. i’m sorry. i’ll just keep my head down. maybe homeschooling is the better option. i feel like i lured you into this and i can’t help but just fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness because these past 2 years i’ve been accidentally stacking up your hurt. i should’ve said things sooner or never said them at all. i can’t forgive myself. i don’t know where to go in the friendship anymore. i’ve took all the roads, said every word i could mumbled but it’s all hopeless on the rugged road. like i said during our first argument; “once you shatter glass, it won’t be the same. it’s only perfect and crystal clear once. you can meld the pieces together but it’s always tainted with whatever happened to it.”. i said i was in the hurt but i guess i was wrong.
“But i’d rather cry because i miss you than be with you an and be mean.” -Cabaret 2
