Here's an analysis of the Protectors, by @booknerd831 Critique: Since the story is a WIP, there's not much that I can critique. So here's a few minor things: 1. Priya and Cass's personality are a little basic. Maybe add more depth or hidden fears to make it more interesting (I'll advise more on this in the character section)? 2. Add details when you write! describe what characters look like, what a dystopian world is like, what the character's inner thought are! 3. Maybe make the Protector's origin not start with a bunch of 6-15 yr olds? It just seems a little young to me, but I don't know the world so maybe it works. Storyline: Your story actually has a few interesting directions it can go in. It can be a coming-of-age story where Cass realizes what teamwork/ moral gray area/ emotions/ something along this line are. Or, since you mentioned how another gang keeps attacking, so maybe they think they are/ actually are the good guys and/or the Protectors are really doing more harm than good and maybe are actually evil. Characters: Let's focus on each of the 3 main characters. Cass: She has a nice starting personality, but perhaps through the story it should develop, so Cass realizes the strength in teamwork and learns how to show emotions, which seems to be a struggle for her. Priya: She's a cute character, though I personally think that she should mature, maybe through gradual character developement where she realizes what her actions actually cause long term. David: He's a decent character, though I'm not exactly sure what you're aiming for his personality to be. This might be because I only have Ch.2 as reference for it. Miscellanious: Other random things I thought of. Please don't make the Captain evil. He started the Protectors, so it doesn't seem right for him to not be good, unless you make it gradually clearer that the power got to his head? If yiu plan to make the characters have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, what people usually develop after traumatic evetns), or other mental or physical illnesses, it would be a good idea to google and search up the illness/disorder to make sure that you write it acurrately. Your welcome for the Critique/advice! I hope it was helpful, and please remember that I don't mean to offend and that you are not required to follow any of my ideas.
