WARNING: This game does not fall within the canon of the Blart Saga. @TheBurlyCoconut is not responsible for any canonical disputes raised by the content of this game. Move Paul Blart with the arrow keys, WASD, or, if you're on mobile, the in-game joystick. You can go faster with the up arrow, W, or up on the joystick, but make sure to regulate your blood sugar level! You'll also want to click or tap the red button to decline Pahud's calls—distracted Segwaying is a big no-no. Eyebrowless Paul Blart is perhaps one of the most terrifying creations of my entire career. I claim no responsibility for the scarred minds of those who choose to click "See Inside," "Start Screen," and then "Costumes" to view him.
